Since this blog is still fairly new allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kassandra I am a 29-year-old single mom of two. I have a son who is almost 4 years old and a daughter who is almost 11 months old just like most moms, my children are my entire world. Recently, I decided to get back into the dating scene. So, one night when I had a kid-free weekend, I decided to download all the apps. Bumble, Tinder, Stir, and Hinge. As you can imagine, dating is much harder nowadays compared to how it was many years ago now I am swiping through profiles. Swiping left. Some swiping right. Reading through the many short bios on profiles of these men I will talk a little bit about online dating safety later in this blog. In the meantime, let me tell you about how complicated it is to sort through all these profiles and have all these conversations with guys, now I am going to speak from experience, so this might not be the case for some people. Some may have been very lucky to meet someone on the first try, but after a few bad experiences, I am much more cautious. I’m vetting every single person that I speak to and if they don’t tell me themselves, I can usually find out on my own, and let me tell you they haven’t always been the greatest of finds. It was great for me because I dodged a bad date and possibly a traumatizing experience. Another thing that I also noticed about dating online is it usually doesn’t take too long to see someone’s true colors. You know how they say some people hide behind the mask well, these people are hiding behind a keyboard and thinking they can sell a false narrative of themselves. Thankfully, if there was anything that I got from my bad experiences with relationships, I always learned a lesson from them.
One of the biggest challenges I have faced with online dating is that most guys that I have matched with want to meet up shortly after talking. Let’s say we start talking on Monday and they are already talking about meeting on Tuesday which is fine for single people with no children but I am a mom of two. I have to plan accordingly. And another challenge that I have faced, is guys not reading my entire profile, and being surprised when I mentioned something that involves my kids (which I do on purpose so they know that I am a mom). and to no surprise, I get the response “oh I didn’t know that you have children” even though it’s listed on my profile multiple times. The many guys that I have matched with and maybe have gone on one date. Well soon after I try to rush into a relationship. I’ve rushed into a relationship before heck I got married to my son’s father and it ended in divorce. With my daughter’s father, I got pregnant with her shortly after we started dating and you guessed it I ended that one too. I will talk more about my relationship experience in a future blog. But for now back on topic. These days I am very cautious with who I allow into my life and in my space. Mostly because I want to keep my kids safe and also I don’t want to just allow anyone in because it’s not just me that I have to worry about if things don’t work out. I have to worry about my kids. I have to worry about their little hearts being broken too. We are a package deal. My future partner also needs to recognize that and understand that the next person that comes into our lives is planning on staying. Adding to our happiness and being that role model for my children. This potential person is going to be setting an example because my children are going to observe their behaviors and learn from this person. So I want to make sure that my future partner understands the responsibility of being a bonus parent. I think I can speak for all single moms when I say that we want our children to see what a healthy relationship looks like and what it looks like to be healthy and in love. Whether we realize it or not, no matter how old the kids are, they are always watching and picking up on every little thing. Have you ever heard the saying kids are like sponges and soak up everything? That is an accurate statement. Kids pick up on absolutely everything.
Message to My Future Partner
Please be patient, and kind and come into our lives with good intentions. I promise we are worth it.